Sometimes you just want to give up

I understand all of that "a relationship only works if you put the effort into it shit" but sometimes I get sick of being married to my band. I don't think the average music connoisseur realizes the anguish and emotional commitment that it takes to produce what is heard. When you are in a committed relationship it is usually with one other human, try adding one, two , or even three others to the mix, and you will begin to understand what I am talking about. I wish being in a band was as simple as a group of people getting together and playing their instruments, because my life would be far less complicated if it were. Everything we listen to is born out of each individual band members, beliefs, life experience, goals etc, etc....Now add in the daily living shit we all go through, the human ego, varying communication skills, and now you begin to get it. EVERY band from the ones you see in local venues all the way up the food chain have somehow managed to balance the madness of the band member marriage to produce the magic of music. Playing in a band is a wonderful and romantic image, and is something that I dreamed about as long and as far back as I can remember, and that dream has given way to the reality of the situation. There have been so many fucking times when I wanted to burn my drum set, and run far, far away, but the love of what I do keeps me playing. Being a musician is enormous emotional, financial, and time commitment that we who play are willing are willing to give in order to get our messages out there. I can honestly say that I never fantasized about murder, until I joined a band.....
So, Erin is out of the band and that is OK was better that it happened early on, instead of a year later like the rest of our singers. When something is lost, something else moves into it place to keep it whole. I was at Nick Belardes house with a group a people that are helping him promote his new book Lords Part One, and there was this girl who was insane, didn't give a fuck what others thought about her, and who's presence filled the room...All I could think was " I wish that chick could sing" turns out she can sing and we are in the process of seeing if she wants to try out for the band. So...another relationship begins, as does another chapter of the Three Chord Whore story.